On Shwings and Things

Today on things that probably aren't appropriate but still pull violently at our hearts strings: SHWINGS!

Literally, wings for shoes, is that not the most exciting thing you have heard all week!! So many exclamation points, so little grammatical pertinence!!!

Ahh.

I'm excited, therefore, you better be excited that for a mere eight dollares and nintey-five cents, you can pursue end to a lifetime of disappointment in which flight was only an impassioned dream derived from the false propaganda of superheroic, televised, ambition. Yes, I am saying that we/you can defy the laurels of gravity and quite literally, not to be mistake with figuratively, fly.

 And double yes, you are oh so welcome.

Note: Ignore all Google, Bing, Yahoo or other obscure search engine images promoting Shwing merchandise as solely befitting for those under the age of, say 11 maybe even 12 n' 3/4. BUT, BUT, BUT, disregard all misguided claims and live your life and possibly–anddd even more valuably–relive your youth.